Let's Talk

So, time has come for the talk. We (as in me and Matt) had a sit down this evening. It is time for a BREAKTHROUGH!!!!!!!!!! We have struggled way too long!!! I can only hope that Matt is seeing things my way.

Getting ready for the showdown.

So, it has been quite a while since my last post. Yes there are reasons way to long to explain. Maybe at a future time I can fill you in. A brief synopsis, last year at this time, marriage in the toilet, me in the toilet, pretty much shit, you get the picture. Matt and I have been through so many trials in our short marriage and I often wonder when the breakthrough will happen. It has to at some point, right? As of today, the first of December, I am struggling to breathe, taking every minute as it's own. The pressure that has come upon my family is suffocating. I know that God will not give me more than I can handle but if I am being honest, I wonder if he truly knows my breaking point, the insane thoughts that cross my mind. My immediate family, IE (dad, and fucked up sister) have brought me more pain than I ever knew possible. I continue to grieve and wonder if it will end.


My children continue to thrive amidst their mothers sadness. They are amazing! They are why I will fight to be better, to do better!!!!!!!