Cute

I had to post this picture just because he is so CUTE!!! I can't believe he is getting so big. It makes me sad (I love babies)

Another Week

Well here I am at the end of another crazy week. Karson has done very well this week. Matt was out of town at the beginning of the week so I was manning the house and kids, and I even had to clean out a couple of bays at the car wash. The weather has been rainy all week and we even had a tornado yesterday. Our electricity was out so I wasn't even aware that a tornado was in our area. The sirens started blaring, I grabbed the baby and three screaming kids and headed to the basement. No damage at our house but about six miles east of us was hit pretty hard. I went back to school today with Karson. It was a lot of fun and very heartwarming to see Karson with all of her classmates. We stayed until lunch and then came home to rest. She is still adjusting to the seizure medication. The neuro team from Children's called yesterday and said that our appointment had been bumped up to Tuesday. I was thrilled at first then began to wonder why we were getting in so quickly. I think the anxiety of waiting is taking a toll on me. I am just ready for some answers and a plan. Those of you who know me know that I NEED a plan. When Matt got home today we decided to head out in the rain for some much needed Mexican food. The picture that is posted is of the kids playing before we left.

Milestones

Kinley Grace learned to ride her bike without training wheels this weekend. She and Matt spent most of the afternoon yesterday going up and down the driveway. Every time she realized that Matt had let go of the bike she would shriek with excitement. So much fun to watch. We are so very proud of you Kinley!!!!

The Calm

Karson had a repeat seizure on Thursday. No convulsions this time just the double vision then the period of no response. We spent Friday at Children's ER. I have to say she is the bravest little girl I know. We received the results from her MRI. In the moment that the doctor was talking to us I felt that I was not even in my body. Like I was hovering and watching everything take place in front of me. I know that there are so many people with situations a lot worse than our own but it is NOT FAIR. I am sick of it always being Karson. This morning I was reading a devotional and God is always so good at giving me exactly what I need. "What do you want me to do for you?" (Matt 20:32) The entire devotional was about standing on God's word and being specific in what we ask him for. The Lord has healed Karson before and I know he will do it again.

Gift from God

My precious Karson, I hope you know what an amazing angel you are. I have taken such joy watching you grow over the last seven years. You have been through so much and have been so resilient. Your spirit astounds almost everyone that has contact with you. You truly make an impact on people. God has his hand on you and I know he will be guiding us through whatever happens next. You are a true joy to me and I love you more than you could ever know. Your Mom

Rollercoaster

I've always had such mixed feelings about roller coasters. I know that some people absolutely love them but they terrify me. I want to like them but my body and mind won't let me. Waiting in line the anticipation-stomach turning, up up up up up, that resting place then the fall. Straight down, out of control, screaming, jerking, waiting for it to stop. This roller coaster feeling is the only way I know of describing what my family has been through the last 48 hours. We had just gotten home from school on Thursday when the ride started. Karson started complaining that her right eye was hurting. When I looked at her face I noticed that her left eye was crossed. I told her that she should go and lay on the couch but she didn't make it. She couldn't see and she stumbled into the wall. I grabbed her and laid her on the couch. She looked up at me with great fear, her eyes rolling to the side then limp. I couldn't get her to respond to me in any way. I panicked!!! The rest of what happened is such a blur- Matt getting home and grabbing her off the couch, me driving, calling 911, then the seizure. At the time I had no idea what was happening. Matt was holding her in the front seat she was violently shaking, the ambulance was not getting to us fast enough. I really believed we were losing her. The ER, the Cat Scan, EEG, MRI-too much information. So hard to hear, so scared. Is this really happening?

I'm just saying

It really irritates me when people use the fact that they are a Christian to justify the darkness that they are living in. Lord help me not to have hatred in my heart. I am so thankful that my God is a God of justice and that he brings LIGHT to darkness.

Update

So I am updating my blog after last weeks craziness (and after harassment from my sister). Matt traveled to Seattle last week. It has been a while since he has been out of town (really just three weeks), but it is amazing how spoiled I get when he is in town. When he is gone I realize how much I take his help for granted. Anyway he said that Seattle was beautiful and of course now he wants us to relocate. I've never been but I don't think I would like the constant dreary weather. I need SUN!!! The girls have spring break next week and I think we are going to take a little trip to T-town. The kids want to stay at a hotel and swim and we thought we would take them to the aquarium in Jenks. I took the girls when they were little and they loved it. The girls also want to have a lemonade stand at the carwash so Matt is helping them make a booth and signs. So if you are in our area next week stop by the Wash and get some fresh lemonade from the girls. I went outside last night to dump some food into the compost. It was just about dusk and right over the trees at the back of our creek was a hot air balloon. It was like a seen from a postcard. I ran inside and got the kids and Matt. They were so excited to see one right in our backyard. Anyway the point of telling that story is that the girls decided that they are going to buy a hot air balloon with the money they make from their lemonade stand. I love that they have no concept of what things are out of reach for them yet. To them buying a hot air balloon is totally something they can and will do. Life is so simple when you are six and seven.

Time Goes By

Is it almost Wednesday already? This last year has gone by way to fast. My little baby turned nine months old yesterday. Nine months-is that even possible? He is changing so much every day. It is amazing what happens to a baby in the first year of life. He has started crawling and now it seems he is determined to be a big kid. He follows my other three from room to room. My first baby will be turning eight in May. Out of all of my kids she is the one that looks exactly the same as when she was a baby. I was reading one of my sister's friends blogs about the hearts capacity to love more than one child. I have to say it is amazing how much I love each one of my kids. They are all so unique and have such different personalities and I love them each so differently. It's late and I am starting to be a little to sappy. More later-Kristy

Maddox My Love

There is nothing more rewarding then your child showing you love. Before Maddox went to bed this evening we were saying I love you and he looked at me and said "I love you bigger". He warms my heart. I love him so much. Kristy

Oh The Guilt

I never knew how much I would wrestle with guilt!! Guilt over doing too much, guilt over doing too little. It seems to be around me all the time. Today Kinley had a little Kindergarten performance at school. Sounds exciting right? Everything was great until that end moment when the principal said thanks to all the parents for coming. Then she told all of the children to tell their parents good-bye. As Kinley was walking toward me I could see that we were going to have a meltdown. The bottom lip was quivering, tears in the eyes. She was going to pull out all the stops. So after a tearful good-bye she went off to class and recovered just fine. I left and spent the rest of the morning and a good part of the afternoon feeling guilty. It's so hard being a parent sometimes. Hard to do the right thing over picking her up and saying that she didn't have to go to school today or ever. -Kristy

"Let's do this". I am making an attempt to start this blog. Despite what some may think, I am actually excited about this. So today was crazy as usual. The weather was nice so we spent the majority of the day outside. Matt set up an obstacle course for the kids and then timed them as they went through it. Nothing like stirring up a little sibling competition. Karson as always was just excited to be alive, Kinley and Maddox argued about who had a better time, and Maverick crawled around exploring gravel and eating grass. Life is good!!!!! More tomorrow.